Relationship Readings + More
This week on the Predella Podcast, Gada reads two unresolved relationships. Faced with two different situations, she advises one guest about how to rekindle the relationship to see what it can actually be and the other guest about how to finally resolve the situation and move on once and for all.
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Gada: Hello and welcome to the Predella podcast. Today on the podcast is a love day. We'll be talking to people about romantic relationships. I will be reading their connections.
Okay, so I'm gonna go now to today's guest.
Hello, welcome. So maybe you can begin by telling me a little bit about your situation, what you want me to read.
Guest: Sure. So I've had a situation that has kind of been on and off with a certain person in my life. So we met last year around about this time last year. And things was going really well.
And it kind of got very intense quite quickly, I would say. And. So things kind of fizzled out and he did ghost me, unfortunately. So I kind of spent quite a while kind of trying to find out like what is happening or [00:01:00] why. And just this month we've kind of spoken about, well, this month, like kind of also the end of last month.
We kind of spoken about everything and we've agreed to have a fresh start. So we was supposed to meet. Up for the first time again, the weekend just gone. And that didn't happen. And I was really upset and really anxious and nervous about why that happened. And so he kind of blew me off, I would say like twice.
So he, he replied the next day and I didn't hear from him for about a day or so. But now it's kind of been rescheduled and I've put out there exactly what my boundaries are and what I need from him. And he has reciprocated that by actually I'm just being understanding of those things and also communicating better.
And we've set another date for this weekend.
Gada: Oh, okay. Great. [00:02:00] So what would you like to talk about with this situation today?
Guest: I think I would just like to get a bit of a better understanding of maybe where this is possibly leading and also how he feels about the situation. And maybe also because there has been other people who have had input about the situation and I don't know if my energy or his energy is really aligning with that, but at the same time,
there's something in my inter intuition that is kind of telling me maybe there's a little bit of truth, but I don't think what they've said is the whole the whole story.
Gada: So this is, so when you say other people, you mean like other readers?
Guest: Yeah, so there's a reader that I came across before I came across your lovely self.
And my energy at the time with her, I really gravitated [00:03:00] towards her energy and I really felt that she was another person who kind of understood me. And Ross, I still have so much love for her cause she has helped me with so many other situations. And I do appreciate everything that she has done.
My energy just doesn't read or her Energy doesn't really resonate with where I am or how I feel anymore, so I just don't know. If I should take everything on board the same way because I just don't feel that I aligned with that particular reader anymore.
Gada: Right. So she's giving you a reading of this situation and you're not sure how to understand that.
Gada: might be some truth in it, but you don't feel like it's fully aligning with your understanding and that's,
Gada: Difficult. Okay. So let's start with the situation itself and then come back.
Gada: The reader.
Gada: Going to what I feel and, and can you give me something to call this person [00:04:00] that the, the, the guy you're dealing with. Just what, what's yes.
Guest: We can just call him M
Gada: Okay. M Sure. So what I feel from m is that there is an interest but also a lot of ambivalence about the situation. Like there, it, it does feel like a sort of determination. It does feel like he's settled on. Approaching you on coming back to see what this is.
Gada: It feels like he's hesitant about that and he's kind of, it's almost like it feels like when he steps back into it, It's going to take up space for him. And so he's kind of almost not wanting to cross that threshold, I would say. So there's a tension there. So I, I feel like that's why he's not he's been kind of like putting it off or, or, or delaying that sort of, actually [00:05:00] facing this it feels like, it feels like there's something there for him. It feels like he doesn't exactly know what it is. Like there's something he really does like about being with you that feels very rich. He also feels nervous about it and unsure of, you know, what is that? Where does that go? Can that, it's almost like, can that stabilize into something that's not just like an intense experience that feels really good to be part of, but more like a, a sort of day-to-day part of his life.
Yeah. Feels like he feels there's an intensity around you that is maybe a lot for him and he doesn't, and he likes things to be kind of stable. He's drawn to that, but he's also kind of like, I kind of need my life to also be peaceful. Yeah. And it feels like that sense that it disrupts the peace is partly his sense of the intensity of you and your like emotions, but also partly what [00:06:00] you trigger in him.
Gada: So it's not just that he's thinking you're intense, he's like, okay, there's something there.
Gada: I think if he just thought you were intense, he wouldn't be as like compelled to come back to it. It's more that it also has an effect on him that he feels he needs to actually look at and face and explore.
Gada: So I, I do feel there's something like very, there's very, something very strong and I feel there's a determination to see it through, to actually like, not run away from it this time. But I wouldn't say he knows where it goes. It's like he wants to see it through to the other side. Whether the other side is a more consistent, stable relationship or the other side is, it feels resolved.
You know, I, I feel like that's his perspective. I don't have the sense that he's like trying to like, like do [00:07:00] anything specifically negative. I just have the sense that he's uncertain. And in that I do think it's a little bit like emotionally risky for you because.
He's, he's unclear about what he wants. But that said, I, it does feel like something that both of you are very, very determined to explore. You both have this kind of grounded, quite deep commitment to see what this is in whatever way that is.
Guest: Yeah. Yeah.
Gada: Is there anything else about the situation that you wanna talk about before we go into the reading of the person that you spoke to?
Guest: I guess I, I, I guess my only question kind of does connect to the person that I spoke to. Yeah. In a. Because she said something that actually was quite it, it hurt me quite a lot because she said that that there is somebody else and it's quite a serious relationship with this person.
So I, I guess my question is[00:08:00] do you, do you feel that kind of energy from him or yeah, I, I guess that's my question.
Gada: Like an active, serious relationship. I don't feel okay. Like to me it feels like there could be other person that's sort of pre, pre present or that something happened with, but it doesn't feel like he's actively in a serious relationship to me.
It feels maybe like he's explored something that sort of came to a different place, and that's partly why it's a good time to now look at this with you. Yeah. It, it seems possible that he hasn't resolved everything with another person. Yeah, but it doesn't to me that he's like in a committed elsewhere and he's just like starting this up on the side.
I don't, right.
Guest: Okay. Yeah, that does make sense. Because he does have a child and I know that from before I, I dunno where he stands with his child's [00:09:00] mother now, but I know there was a little bit of conflict before, so I guess that that could explain that I guess.
Gada: Yeah, there definitely feels like there's, with that, there feels like there's a strong like pressure coming towards him and he feels a sense of obligation, but it feels like there's a, a, a tension from that person that's like, you need to do these things that he feels pressured by.
And, and I think that could be what the other person's senses is that there is this sort of like, it is a serious tie. To a person to have a child with them and there is a connection that can't be fully like let go of.
Gada: but it doesn't feel like it's, to me, it doesn't feel like he has like enough romantic involvement that he's committed to elsewhere.
Okay. That's good. That's good to know.
Gada: So what was it that this person said that you felt they talked about the relationship. What was the thing that you said you [00:10:00] thought there might be some truth in, but it didn't fully resonate?
Guest: I think. I think that was it. I think the relationship, because I did feel like, and I have spoken to him about this, I did feel like there was like still something there for the, for his child's mother that was more more than just the fact that she's his child's mom.
So I felt like Like, almost like he kind of cared more for her in the sense of like romantically rather than just as just as the, the child's mom. I, I don't know how I feel about that now. But I just know that I guess that resonated because she did have such a I guess an enormous reaction to the fact that he was dating me last year.
So, yeah, and it was very much [00:11:00] like, I need to know where you are, who are you with? And to me that was just, that was just a lot.
Gada: Yeah, from her, I get a very strong sense of trying to be in control of her environment. So it seems to me that she's not satisfied with how it works out with him, but also she wants to make sure that the person.
Raising the child with her is available and is present and is not like going outside, doing things, having alternate commitments. So it feels to me that this is like almost like a safety thing for her. Like if I can control where you are, then I know that I have you focused on this work of raising this child together?
I think she's a bit disappointed with. How he kind of pulls back, and I think this is a pattern that showed up in your relationship as well.
Gada: Things feels like a lot for him.
Gada: When [00:12:00] things feel like a lot for him, he just kind of like,
Guest: He just runs away.
Gada: Yeah, and I think both of you may be feeling a little bit like, oh, the other person involved in this situation gets more of him, and that's what's frustrating. She needs him to engage with the child. I think she's also disappointed in the way that played out in their relationship. Like she, I think, wanted it to work out differently.
And she wants him to be engaged and to not do that pulling back, not do that sort of running away thing. And I think that feeling you have like, oh, maybe he's giving that attention to her, is the same feeling that she has. Like she's not getting access to all of him. And that's what was stressing her out, because it's, the attention is going to you.
But I think in some ways that's not actually what is happening. The attention is not usually going to another person because what he does is he draws back. That's how he removes [00:13:00] himself from the situation.
Essentially, he just pulls back into himself. So it may seem like, oh, the attention is going to this other person or that other person, but in fact, it's not really going to anyone. He's just unable to connect in that time when he gets stressed. And this becomes quite surprising because when he's. Feeling a bit more comfortable.
He actually is very attentive, so you might assume, well, that attention is always gonna be on another person, but it's not always gonna be on another person just because of the way he is.
When he's engaged, it feels like, oh, somebody else must be getting that attention. But I think often he's just retreating into himself and becoming kind of, of unavailable to everybody in his life.
Guest: Okay. Okay. Okay. I think that makes me feel a lot more comforted.
Gada: Yeah. I don't have the sense that he is wanting to make the relationship with this other person work it [00:14:00] more that he wants to. Like do what he needs to do. Like he does want his relationship with his child to be good and he wants to like fulfill his responsibilities.
But I think he sometimes finds it overwhelming when there are demands placed on him in general, but especially in that context as well.
Guest: Yeah. Okay. Okay. I guess, yeah, that does make sense. And it does, it does ring very true to him, so yeah. Yeah, that does make sense for me.
Gada: Yeah, I think in general he's somebody who tends to kind of retreat and avoid things.
So the fact that he's decided that he's going to sort of like come out of his shell slowly and approach you again, I think is actually quite. Telling as to how much he actually does value something about your relationship and want to return to it and Okay. And want to see [00:15:00] what it is. Okay.
Guest: That's good.
That's good to hear. I think another question. The question was relating to again, what the last reader said and how she said that he will always be a disappointment for me and if like, and it, and he just isn't good for me.
And yeah, I just kind of wanted to know your thoughts. Sorry about that. Cuz I, I really don't feel that he's that bad for me. I just think that. Obviously as we discussed, like when he does withdraw it does, it does kind of hurt me and I don't really know where I stand. But I wouldn't say overall that he's bad for me.
So I guess I just wanted your take on that.
Gada: Yeah. I don't have the sense that he's bad for you. Like he's not, it doesn't feel to me that he's not taking you seriously or that he's just sort of like playing games or trying to [00:16:00] like go into this lightly and doesn't care about you. It feels to me like he's hesitant and that puts you at a certain kind of risk.
And I feel like I could sense a little bit of the, the idea that he's a disappointment because there's a way that you want to jump in and your energy is very full and like, so there's this way that because he holds back. Yeah, it creates this kind of like you are not quite having somebody meet you where you are.
Guest: Yeah. And it feels like it's. It creates a bit of tension for me. Yeah, I kinda feel it, like I can feel it now, like I feel it physically, like, kind of like in, in my chest, like I feel like just a heaviness, and then when I, I'm engaging with him, that kind of goes away, and then I'm okay again.
Gada: Yeah, and I think because he though has this strategy of [00:17:00] retreating, of not always wanting to work things out with you of like sort of stepping away and pulling back, it does create that in you.
Like he's, he's at least. For a while. I think he, he's gonna continue to have that effect on you and he's not giving you the space to fully express or like put everything out there. He makes you have to hold back because of his kind of communication strategies.
Guest: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that I think that is really true I guess, I don't know. Sometimes I do still feel like I'm move, I'm moving too fast and I just don't know exactly how to like measure the same way as,
Gada: yeah, I think you're different people and that's hard because like your pace is not necessarily better or worse than his pace.
Like I don't think that it's just that because he'll run away, he gets to [00:18:00] control the pace because he had just sort of fall back. And that means that you can't get him to go at your pace and you can't get him to hear everything at once. And I think some of that is just that it is a lot for him. Like he, he does sort of, it becomes overwhelming if you put throw too much at him at once.
Like he's not necessarily trying to say, oh, that's too much. I don't like it. It's like, A lot of stimulation, like, ah, there's so much stuff going on and he can't take it all in at once. So I don't think like it, it is just like a different ways of processing, but like, going back to what the other reader said, I think that is going to be a frustrating thing for you.
And it may feel like, you know, like your. Sure. Like, you know, like, have you ever seen dogs where one's like trying to play and the other one's dead. Like this dog is like, there's a little, and you can't get the, the little dog to play with you. Like I feel like there is this [00:19:00] frustration that's just gonna be there for you, but it also feels to me like you do want some level want to go through that and figure it out and that.
He's gonna create a certain level of frustration and it's gonna require a lot of patience from you. But I don't have the sense that he is bad for you in the sense that he's just going to let, he's just doesn't care and he's coming in to hurt you. Again. He might, he's unsure, he's a bit nervous, but regardless of what happens, I do feel like he's taking it seriously and he has a respect for you.
Guest: That's good to know. Yeah,
It kind of puts everything into perspective. So yeah. Yeah, that's, that's really accurate. I don't really know what else. Okay. Well,
Gada: Thank you for being here for coming with your [00:20:00] questions .
Guest: Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. Really appreciate it.
Gada: You're welcome.
Good luck with everything.
Guest: Thank you so much.
Gada: Okay, let's go to our next guest.
Welcome. Did you have a question ?
Guest: Yes. Thank you. I wanted to know about my twin flame. We are in twin flame separation, so I want to know what's going on. Why, why hasn't he reached out and why hasn't he reached out to apologize to me?
Gada: Okay. So first let me like, say a little bit about how I understand the twin flame kind of world concept thing.
I think of it as like there's a very specific narrative about the twin flame and the, the kind of the meeting, the coming together, the intensity of that, and then the separation and the return. I feel like. Like I, I [00:21:00] have a sense of that. I understand that as a, as a pattern that does play out. I'm a little bit agnostic about like the spiritual meaning of the twin flame as a concept.
Like I just don't kind of have any firm beliefs either way, but I do really feel that there are these, Like strong, energetic connections that people recognize at the start. Cause intense, intense connections and often like follow this kind of pattern through a separation and a kind of resolution. So I do think it describes a real experience people have.
So just to give you context of where I'm coming from when I talk about this, but let me tune into your specific situation. Do you have like a a, an initial or something? Something I can call this person Just for the purposes of this conversation,
Guest: we can call him p
Gada: p? Okay. So what I sense about [00:22:00] him is that he is a very like.
Stubborn, forceful person. But also, so are you in different ways? I feel like you are more you, you are very clear about what you want, what you like, what is important to you, but you are not necessarily going to force that onto another person. Whereas I feel like for him, he wants things to be his way.
And that there's something that he's mm-hmm. Frustrated about in the way that he feels that you don't like do what he wants almost. And that, so, so you are, you asked me why doesn't he apologize, but my feeling from him is that he doesn't feel he has anything to apologize for. He feels like he's sort of fundamentally [00:23:00] correct, almost.
And so there's a sense, like, I, I do understand why you think like the energy from him, there's a sort of tension and there's a stress, and I, I feel like there's almost like this forceful, like. Way that he dealt with you that feels like, like he sort of like didn't behave well. Is that, is that right? But in this sort of like, this is the way it should be like kind of aggressive almost.
Guest: Yeah, it's true.
Gada: Yeah. Okay. And so I feel like he feels he's correct. He's not thinking that much about how he expressed himself. He's thinking about the fact that he feels he's correct under the surface. And that's why he doesn't apologize because he feels like you should have accepted his point of view.
And he wants you to like almost give in.
And I think this is where the kind of twin flame energy [00:24:00] of the intensities, there's something, but the way that you it feels like you have a certain strength and put up a barrier, like refuse to do what he wanted on some level. Like you didn't go along with everything. Is that right?
Guest: Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Yeah.
Gada: Yeah. So I feel from you that like your feeling is, well, you know, this is who I am and that's important. But I think that does sort of like trigger something in him that, something that's sort of like stressful because he recognizes something in you that kind of he has respect for, but it also frustrates him.
And so if you're left in a kind of standoff position I don't, I don't have the feeling like, I have the feeling that he thinks he should be more in control of things than he always can be. Is
Guest: Yes. He has always been like [00:25:00] someone like that who wants to be in
control of everything.
Gada: Yeah. And is that part of the conflict that, like the sense of the, the separation is, there's a disagreement about how much control he should have?
He wanted to wait much control and he didn't apologize for anything that he did wrong.
He wants to control me and control everything.
Gada: Yeah. And I think that's how he kind of it's like a strategy to make himself feel strong in the world, like feel strong, feel good is he tries to control others.
But I don't think he feels badly about that. I think he feels that you were difficult to control and that was upsetting for him.
Guest: Mm. Okay.
Is there any love? I wanted to know if there's any love. Cause now I'm really [00:26:00] living this situation alone. I want to make peace with it
and move on.
Gada: And this is kind of gets into a bit of an interesting place because I feel like. Like going back to the sense that he likes to control things. Cause I think he's a bit afraid of the softer feelings in himself.
He doesn't know what to do with them. So I do have the sense that there is a love for you, but it feels like that is very highly controlled as well. Like he doesn't want. His feelings to be taking over. He wants to be making decisions and setting things up and arranging his relationships in the way he thinks they should be.
Guest: Yes, you're right. He, he doesn't like to be vulnerable. Yeah. about how he feels. That's
Yeah. I think it makes the relationship more like impossible to go forward [00:27:00] because he, he wants a relationship to go his way, his own direction.
Guest: And that didn't work out for me. He did way to me. Too much damage, and I used to be the one who chased him, so now I, I stopped chasing him. So I think he's getting more frustrated, angry, but he's not doing anything to apologize for any of the things that he did. But now I'm at a better place. I just wanted closure because I want to let go and heal and move on.
Gada: I think there's something like when, when we, when I go to the softer feelings, the vulnerable feelings that he's a little bit afraid of and stressed by, I think that's another place where he doesn't feel he has control. So there's this stress about not having control over you, and there's this stress about not having control over feelings, and so he becomes very hard and very rigid from that.
I do feel like it's, it's not something that he's [00:28:00] working on because he, he doesn't really see it as a problem at this point in its life. He sees. The inability of other things to be controlled as the problem. And I do think that makes it very hard to have a relationship with him, but I think there's a lot of fear in him.
He's very afraid of opening his heart and getting hurt, and he would rather keep rigidly closed and controlled than have that experience. But I, I think there's something , going back to the idea of that, that strong connection you feel that makes you. Called him your twin flame. I feel like there's something there where you recognize the, the vulnerability and in his heart, there is a sort of pain and just pure vulnerability and that is very open to you.
And so what I would say about that in terms of how do you get closure is I feel like there's some way that you may want to. Even though you can't have a relationship with him because of his outward [00:29:00] behavior, recognize that in him, if that makes sense. Like it feels to me all of the ways he's acted have kept you apart from connecting truly to that part, like his heart that you felt that you really connected to.
Gada: And it feels to me like part of the closure is almost recognizing. That acknowledging like, you have this beautiful heart, you are this beautiful person. I care in these ways about you, but the situation, the behaviors are-- get in the way. It feels like you even may want to at least write it down to him, if not share it with him, you know, like write what you'd want to say to him.
Do you advise me to do so?
Gada: Yeah, I feel like there's something, like, it does feel to me like it's not something that you can, like, you would necessarily want to pursue or try to rekindle [00:30:00] the relationship because that his, his behavior has become so difficult and that is very, like, that's not likely to change, but it does feel to me like in order to move on, even saying it to him saying, this is what I saw, this is why I value you.
And I'm letting you go knowing that you are this person inside. Even if it doesn't work out between us. Do, do you know what I mean?
Guest: That will help me so much because I feel like I need to get something out of my chest and tell him.
But I, I thought I shouldn't, something kept me from doing that, but I always have the instincts and, and the feeling to tell him. It's the reason why I, it'll help me. Yes.
Gada: Yeah. I think that would help you to actually say it and to, to write the story of that being true. That being how you see him, but you let him go because of the other situations and, and like letting him know that, and clarifying that, and clarifying that in a kind [00:31:00] way where he then doesn't just see it as you're mad at him for the behaviors, but he knows what you've seen and what you understand and what you truly believe about him.
Guest: Mm, mm-hmm.
Yes. And I wanted to write it in a beautiful way just to let him know that I'm making peace and I'm letting go. Yeah. And I did truly like him. I wanted to make it a simple, so I think that's what I would do.
Gada: I think that'll actually really help you and it would write your story forward from where you are, from the whole truth of where you are, how are you moving forward, and you communicate that and you can let it go from that place.
Guest: Yeah. Okay. I will do that. Yeah. I feel like it'll work for me.. It'll help me move more.
Gada: Thank you so much
for your question.
Guest: Yes. Thank you.
Gada: You're welcome. [00:32:00] Good luck with it.
Guest: . All right. Bye.
Okay. Let's finish up with one last question that came in by email. If you would like to have your question featured on the show or you'd like to appear as a guest, you can email me at email@example.com to get a spot on the show or to submit a question.
So here's question. I have a career question for you. I feel I've done a lot of work to build my career over the past few years, and it feels like I'm getting a lot done. I'm very productive, but I'm not making much outward progress in my career. I'm not seeing growth or meeting milestones. So can you tell me what you sense about this situation and what, if anything, I should be doing differently?
If there's anything I should change my focus to or anything like that to see more growth and development in my career. [00:33:00] Okay. Let me see what I sense. So the first thing I sense is that it's like there says wealth of information, not information. What is it? It's like. You know what you're going to do. You have this map inside you, but you haven't unfolded it, if that makes sense.
There's some sense that you're not sharing the plan with anybody, so you have a very. Carefully mapped out plan. It's like almost like you have this map rolled up inside you and you haven't actually spread it out. You're just walking around wondering why nobody else is aware of the map that you have inside of you.
And nobody's helping you navigate the map. Nobody's helping you get where you're trying to go. There's just this feeling of like, I [00:34:00] know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out, and then not. Telling anybody what that plan is, but also not being interested in the other things people might offer you.
So there's a sense of people maybe offering you other opportunities and you kind of looking at them disdainfully and saying, that's not my plan. I didn't plan for that. I planned for this other thing that I haven't told anybody about. So my feeling is that. The thing that's important is to unfold the map, and this feels a little bit scary.
This feels like. You are scared of how people are going to respond or almost like a fear of like, I don't want them to get their footprints, like their dirty footprints all over my life plans. But you can't really do it without like unfolding it, announcing [00:35:00] where you're going. And setting out in a way that is visible.
The reason that you're not seeing the outward growth is because nobody knows what you think you're doing. They maybe know the bits that they see. So if there's some way that you are planning things or have a sense of direction that you haven't shared, you haven't given any sense of that, I think is the problem for you.
And I think this is part of an act of believing in yourself and actualizing that belief. Into the way you present yourself, carry yourself and tell your own story. Okay. Thank you so much for being here with me for the Predella podcast. I hope you've enjoyed this set of readings.
If you would like to be on the podcast or submit a question email firstname.lastname@example.org.
I will speak to you next week. Until then, please [00:36:00] like, share, subscribe, send this podcast to friends. Let people know what we're doing here. And also make sure you check in with the center of your body. Notice what you feel and align to what feels right and true at your core.